Restless
by Fighter and Sacrifice
Summary: Ritsuka is having a restless night, plagued by questions of what Seimei is truly like, and what kind of person Soubi is. When he can finally sleep, these questions still pervade his dream.
**Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless.**

* * *

Ritsuka stared out of the window of his room. It was foggy outside, and the light was starting to fade. He tried sleeping, but he would just lie awake and stare at the ceiling. He looked out the window at the street. Every few minutes, he would check his phone.

 _When will Soubi be here? I'm lonely._ Ritsuka never admitted these things out loud, but he knew them to be true himself. Soubi had been at an art exhibition, because his art had been selected for display. He had become locally known for his butterfly and flower paintings. Though, Soubi had told Ritsuka that he hates butterflies for their beauty. Soubi was truly difficult to understand. Why paint something he hates? The one type of butterfly Soubi painted the most often was _Celastrina ogasawaraensis_. This butterfly was very rare in Japan. It was certainly beautiful.

Soubi was a strange man. He loved taking orders, and Ritsuka got the feeling that he enjoyed pain. But this wasn't the kind of relationship Ritsuka wanted with the older man. He wasn't attracted to Soubi, although he'd never admit it if he was.

 _Well, I don't think I'm attracted to him._ Ritsuka often pondered this. Why did they have such a complicated relationship? It exhausted him, but he did care for the man. Soubi seemed as if he didn't have any friends besides Kio and Ritsuka. Maybe Soubi had more in common with him than he had thought. Ritsuka used to view friends as not being necessary; people who were used by others. At least, this is what he thought before making some of his own. They turned out being nice to have, and they did make him happier, which was definitely good considering everything going on outside of school. Ritsuka recalled his recent encounter with Seimei. He was glad to see that he was alive, but he was starting to realize that Seimei is nothing like how he remembered him to be.

Then again, he had lost most of his memories from before two years ago. The ones he was starting to remember from those years ago with Seimei were more than a little strange. And Seimei was apparently the one that gouged out Ritsu's eyes, only for the use of his blood to write, "Ritsuka, I'm back," on the wall of the Seven Moons Academy.

 _What kind of person is Seimei?_ wondered Ritsuka.

 _What kind of person is Soubi, to be completely subservient to him without question?_

He layed awake for a few minutes longer, pondering these questions, before succumbing to fitful sleep.

* * *

Soubi had just finished his required time at the art convention. It was not enjoyable, as being around large groups of people was tiring to him, but Kio had convinced him to do it. He'd come back to pick up his paintings later. Right now, he was absentminded, and thinking deeply about other things. Once he got to his apartment, he immediately fell onto his bed. Soubi closed his eyes, took off his glasses, and lit a cigarette. He had many things on his mind.

The first thing he thought about, as usual, was Ritsuka. His Ritsuka, as he liked to think of him. He loved everything about him. He loved Ritsuka's cute cat ears, and his long tail. He loved playing with these whenever they were together. He wanted to enjoy Ritsuka's cat features as much as he could, since he was planning to take them eventually.

Soubi's own ears and tail were taken when he was young. His teacher at the Seven Moons Academy, Ritsu, had always called him his favorite student. He had trained him brutally to withstand pain, because he could see the potential for Soubi to become an extremely powerful fighter. And, that is exactly what happened. Though, that was not the only reason Ritsu paid extra attention to Soubi. Soubi had features reminiscent of his mother _,_ whom Ritsu had loved. This was why Ritsu took Soubi's virginity.

Because of this, Soubi felt a surge of pleasure when he learned that Ritsu had been blinded by Seimei.

 _Seimei._ Seimei had a new fighter. Soubi felt his temperature rise in anger. Seimei and Soubi were Beloved; they were the famed unstoppable team. But Seimei had found the true Beloved fighter, Nisei. Soubi had decided to kill Nisei sometime, and he was determined to do that. He did still belong to Seimei, but he had started using the name of Loveless during battles beside Ritsuka. In fact, Soubi wished that Loveless had been the name carved into his skin with a knife all those years ago.

 _I am Ritsuka's servant._ Soubi felt a strong urge to see Ritsuka. He got off of his bed, and started walking to Ritsuka's house.

* * *

 _Ritsuka awoke in his bed. Everything was silent; there was no noise coming from the street outside. The room was flooded with a soft blue light from the window, brighter than it should have been for this time of night. T_ _hen, he heard frantic knocking at his door._

 _"Ritsuka! Ritsuka, come out here! Seimei is here, don't you want to see him? He's coming for you, Ritsuka, Ritsuka!" His mother screeched as her fists continued pounding the door. Ritsuka stepped out onto his balcony, and was greeted with blackness. But he was still conscious. He was in a different place now. He was surrounded with darkness, and the balcony was gone. Then, he saw someone walking towards him in the distance. As the figure came closer, he saw that it was Seimei. His reaction was mixed. He felt love, as he always did for his brother, but also fear of what Seimei might do._

 _Seimei walked up to his brother, and intertwined their fingers. Ritsuka looked up at Seimei, wondering what he was doing. He smiled a warm and loving smile down at his little brother. Seimei then did something he'd never done before._

 _He leaned down, squeezed Ritsuka's hands, and kissed him. It wasn't a short kiss, but a long and passionate, almost violent, kiss. Ritsuka struggled against Seimei, and finally succeeded in pushing him away._

 _"What the hell?" Ritsuka shouted._

 _"Why did you-" Seimei knocked Ritsuka to the ground, cutting him off. Ritsuka pushed and hit Seimei, but he would not budge. After a few minutes, Ritsuka felt unnaturally exhausted and immobile, as if an invisible lead blanket had been placed over him._

 _Seimei took out a hammer and one large nail. Ritsuka's eyes widened, awaiting whatever was coming next._

 _"I love you, Ritsuka." And with these words, Seimei positioned the nail over Ritsuka's chest, lifted the hammer, and struck the nail._

 _He was being pinned like a butterfly, by his own brother._

 _Ritsuka screamed._

* * *

"Ritsuka." Blue eyes of Ritsuka's tear-streaked face opened. The first thing they saw was a tall blonde man sitting on the bed beside him, holding his tightly clenched hand.

"Soubi, what are you doing here?" Ritsuka asked. Soubi looked down at Ritsuka with a concerned face.

"I came to see you, but you'd fallen asleep. You were crying a lot, and then you started screaming." Ritsuka's face turned slightly pink, and he sat up.

"What were you dreaming about?" Soubi asked.

"I don't really want to say, it wasn't good," Ritsuka said.

Soubi put his arms around Ritsuka and held him tightly. Ritsuka didn't resist, and pressed his face against the warm chest. Soubi rested his head on top of Ritsuka's.

"Are you better now, my Ritsuka?" Soubi asked, stroking Ritsuka's hair.

"Yeah, I missed you," Ritsuka mumbled.

"I missed you too. Are you sure you're okay?" Soubi looked down at Ritsuka after a few seconds, and realized he was asleep. Soubi smiled. _He is too cute,_ Soubi thought. He gently moved to lay down without waking Ritsuka.

"I love you, my Ritsuka." Soubi kissed Ritsuka's lips softly, and held him in his arms until morning.


End file.
